With ever developing technology, the ability to communicate is one of the easiest things to do. Between
either a text message or an email, you can fire off a message in a matter of seconds and often that
message cannot be taken back. Not only can it not be taken back, there is a record of it, on the
receiver’s electronic device and if a text message, sometimes with the service provider.
When navigating a divorce, emotions run high and telling your soon-to-be ex-spouse how you feel in the
heat of an argument might seem like the right thing to do. But before your thumb hits that send stop
and take a deep breath. Take five deep breaths. Is that message, that is in writing, associated with your
phone number, and something that could be introduced at court going help you in any way? Or is it
going to do more harm than good?
Now, I am not going to say do not send that message purely so you can make sure you are not hurting
your case. There are other benefits to not sending it. By stopping to think about what you are doing,
what you are feeling and how you are reacting, it provides an opportunity to regain some control, and
begin to work on effective communication. For example, if your exchange about the children, instead of
responding with some not so nice names, redirect the conversation back to what the purpose was
before the anger became involved. Answer questions directly and think about how your response could
affect the child, litigation or not.
Ultimately, if you cannot resolve your differences without the anger, close out of your test messages or
email and call your attorney.