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What If My Spouse Cheated On Me?

| Jan 20, 2021 | Family Law |

Finding out that your spouse cheated on you is devastating. You have heard that one should never make a decision when you’re upset and this is not an exception. Divorcing your spouse is a big decision, even if you are the victim of adultery. However, if you believe that marriage counseling or any other effort will not result in a reconciliation, here are some practical things to keep in mind.

First, if there are children, protect them from what is taking place the best you can. It serves no one if you put your children in the middle of your divorce. Second, realize, that while cheating is a horrible thing, the adultery is probably not going to have a large impact on your divorce. Proving adultery is more difficult than you may think. When it comes to filing for divorce, your attorney will advise you to dissolve your marriage based on an irretrievable
breakdown of the marriage. There is no advantage to file for divorce based upon adultery and if you insist on filing based upon this cause of action, you may end up delaying the proceedings.

Ultimately, unless your spouse spent significant martial assets in the affair, there is not financial benefit for you and the courts and attorneys will focus on equitable distribution, maintenance and if there are children-child custody. Another factor to keep in mind is that if you insist on filing based solely on adultery, you will more than likely spend money in trial which could be better utilized on your family.

As best as you can, focus on what is important to you, which should be moving on with your life as quickly and efficiently as possible. Fighting in court because of the pain caused by your spouse will only increase legal fees, not make you feel any better and delay your ability to move forward.